BOOK EXCERPT~"A PSYCHIC AFFAIR"

I hope you enjoy this excerpt from Chapter 2 of my Novel "A Psychic Affair" and it will entice you to want to read more.

Astrid xoxo

Chapter Two “The beginning”

I WISH

I wish I could remember that first word

That first chat we had

So out of the blue you came

So very unexpected, I was busy

I was so rude and you were so sweet

I wish I could remember that day

February the 13th I think

I said what, who and why

I think I made you laugh

I was so off hand but you were so sweet

I wish I could remember that moment

When I fell in love with you

It hit me like a bolt out of the blue

You made me smile and you did too

I challenged you I guess you were so sweet

I wish I could remember those moments

All of them I cherish so deep in my heart

You made me feel so warm and fuzzy

I laughed at that phrase remember

A rose for every day you said you were so sweet

Well, I do remember that first chat and the date but I wish I could remember word for word.

As the days passed, John messaged me every day always ending the conversations with his signature rose. He used to say a rose for every day and I really did say ‘you were so sweet.’ I had never met anyone as sweet as John and as the poem explains, he did impart a feeling of warmth and fuzziness on me. We used to laugh about how we could not spell; spelling just went out off the window when we chatted, we used to laugh so much about that. We sent e-greetings to one another and he had hooked and reeled me in. Two weeks into the relationship John told me he was falling for me and I knew I was falling for him. He had told me a lot about himself about how he was divorced and his ex-wife had an affair, when they had been trying for a baby. They had previously lost a child some two years ago when his wife Janet suffered a miscarriage. He was devastated when he discovered the affair. They had persevered and tried to work at their relationship for six months, but in the end, he knew he could just not forgive her and he asked her to leave.

John did not share the same beliefs as I did. I did myself try to explain my beliefs to him in the hope it might comfort him. He knew I was a medium and I told him, the baby was a little boy and he was around him often. It upset him to talk about this as he had longed for children and just could not forgive Janet for the affair especially as they had been trying for a baby. I had told him simply about his child in spirit to give him hope that there is so much more to life than on earth.

* * * * * * *

What if you believed that this life was all that there is. That there was no afterlife, no heaven and no hell. How would you view life? Would you live for the moment doing whatever you wanted? Knowing that it didn't matter who you hurt and how you treated others or would you be sad knowing this was all that there was. If this is all there is, how would you feel knowing all your hopes, dreams and aspirations die with you? Knowing that you will never again see those you love when either they or you die. Wouldn't you feel sad? Wouldn't you question the whole meaning of life? There are some people who believe in just this but the vast majority of us do believe in something, the desire to worship and believe in something is inherent within all of us. Be it a Higher Power or God, there is a tiny spark within all of us to believe what is right and wrong and to know there is something bigger than us. It's been there from the beginning of time. OK there are some people who's tiny spark may not be very bright but I firmly believe it is still there and it’s just a question of finding the right catalyst to trigger it off to burn a bit brighter.

If you believe there is a greater power and after we die we go on to live eternally how do you view your life? I feel this makes us more hopeful and it gives life more meaning and its more comforting to think our loved ones will live on. It makes our life feel more like a preparation for the next and it makes us more aware of how we should live our life and you can view life as a learning process. Supposing you are given definite proof we don't die at all and you are given evidence that your loved ones live on? Supposing you are given evidence by those who have died messages beyond the grave, only something you could possibly know or better still where a third party has to verify this evidence? Would this comfort you to know, this life is not the end and know that you will meet your loved ones again? Would this change your outlook on life, would you live it differently with new meaning?

I firmly believe when you are given this hard evidence from spirit, you do see the bigger picture, it enables you to understand why we are here on Earth and it is comforting and it takes away the fear of death. For its fear of the unknown that causes the distress. It helps us view what is important in life and makes us realize material objects are just objects and do not matter in the scheme of things. Importantly it also fans that spark of righteousness that’s within all of us to live our lives better and to treat others better. It brings us contentment.

* * * * * * *

I was trying to help John, maybe it was too soon into the relationship to tell him about all this, but I firmly believe, we are all drawn together for a common purpose to learn from and teach one another about the true meaning of why we are here. I just wanted to make him feel better and to tell him he did have a child a little boy in spirit.

Three weeks into our meeting, John started to have cold feet and told me during our chat it would be best if we ended our online relationship. He said he did not want to hurt me and it would be best if we saw other people. He told me he could not bear to feel like he had before. He told me he was falling for me and he could not bear the pain if we let this go on to be hurt again. I remember his exact words, “Like a hole in the head” I was distraught. I did not know what to say or do but cry I knew then I had fallen deeply in love with him. This was not my intention, I wasn't looking to fall in love, I wasn't even looking for a relationship, I had a trust issue too, there was just something there I could not explain nor was this infatuation, these feelings ran deep and I was drowning in them.

I phoned Annie late on a Sunday evening around three weeks after my relationship with John had begun. I was working the next day and had a series of important classes to do and I was so upset. I wondered how I would cope. Annie reassured me I would be fine, Annie’s psychic ability had come on leaps and bounds under my tutelage. She in particular liked dowsing, which taps into our ability to use our natural sensitivity our intuition, which we all possess, Annie’s favorite way of dowsing was using a Pendulum. This is a simple weight on the end of a piece of cord or light chain, a key on the end of a bit of cord to a ring or a crystal. The pendulum is the most versatile tool for use in straight question and answer type of dowsing.

“Maryann he will contact you again, I just know so,” Annie stated, “And I have used my pendulum several times to confirm this, each time it's given me a yes answer,” Annie went on. “What is it you've taught me Maryann? To always trust what we are given.”

“Yes, you are correct Annie, if you clearly feel he is coming back then I should not doubt, it's just so hard Annie,” I said.

“I know Maryann but trust me, you've taught me to trust Spirit and he is coming back, just be patient and please don't worry,” Annie reassured.

Annie as you’ve guessed was always loosing things and she swore dowsing worked extremely well for her. Now in teaching Body Therapy and Massage its necessary to check the alignment of the spine to make sure its in its correct position as it can become distorted through bad postural habits such as slouching, as this can cause back pain, etc. Well, in a teaching capacity while the students are learning to spot this we use a ‘Plumb bob’. Now a Plumb bob is a heavy, often conical weight attached to a long cord used by decorators and builders to determine a true straight line, well Annie found a new use for hers. She carried it around with her always and could be seen asking ‘Yes and No ‘ questions regularly, this was one skill she was adept at using well.

She told me, “You will still be chatting to John a year from now, trust me.” She also added, “You will get through tomorrow, I will be there to help you, all will be fine.” She had that magical gift of reassurance a fantastic quality to have in a therapist.

I returned to my Mac and I left an offline message to John telling him I had fallen in love with him. I then logged off, went to bed, and cried myself to sleep. John had really got to me, he was in my heart and entwined in my soul. I could not bear this pain. The rational part of me tried to talk sense.

“Stop being silly Maryann, you’ve only known this guy three weeks, he could be anybody”

My heart was telling me something else. As a Medium, my intuition is very strong, it needs to be so that we can pick up the sensitive vibrations from spirit and be able to pass on messages to loved ones they have left behind on earth. I could not walk away from this guy; it was totally irrational and crazy I tried to talk myself out of this so called online relationship but I was failing and it wasn't working. I had to hear from him again, there was a deep pulling towards him that I couldn't ignore.

When I arrived at college next day Annie was waiting for me and kept reassuring me. She praised me for getting through the day although I wanted so much to dissolve in tears. I was so glad to get home that evening and tried to concentrate on work and prep for my Tuesday Aromatherapy class. It was important to me that this class went well as this was a new subject and course I had developed. I had written all the course notes and had worked damn hard on this. My mind kept drifting to John I wondered what he was doing, would he message me. I switched on my Mac and logged on to messenger. Nothing, no off-lines, no emails from John. Annie was online and we chatted again she reassured me.

“Wait and see, he will get in touch,” she said confidently.

I went to bed so sad.

Next morning being Tuesday was a busy day for me. I was glad in a way as I could immerse myself into my favorite subject, well I tried to, and John crept into my mind at every opportunity. I taught psychic development that evening too and Annie kept up the reassurance all would be fine. In fact that day in Aromatherapy, we were studying a new batch of oils and I introduced Clary Sage. I warned the students it was a very potent essential oil and making sure no one had any contra indications to using it, the students used it in their blends. I couldn't help but laugh at the effect it had on Annie. I thought I might have known it would have this effect on her!

“Annie!” I exclaimed, “What are you doing?”

Annie was sitting sniffing the bottle of Clary Sage.

“Miss this is divine, I just love this!” she replied.

Now Clary Sage is not unpleasant but I personally wouldn't classify it as divine. Many Aromatherapists will tell you clients are drawn to those essential oils they need, this is because your psyche knows intuitively what essential oils will bring balance back to the body as the oils have a direct effect on the Hypothalamus. This is the area of our brains that govern our moods and emotions and this part of the brain maintains homeostasis in the body regulating our hormones.

I guess Annie must have needed this essential oil big style. Now if you have ever seen a cat with a toy mouse stuffed with catnip, well Annie was giving a good impression of this!

“Annie, I think you have had more than enough of Clary Sage,” I told her removing and wrestling the bottle from her grasp, trying my best not to laugh.

Annie was totally high and after the effects of this wore off, she had to lie on one of the massage couches to sleep it off the rest of the afternoon, much to the amusement of her classmates as she quietly snored in the corner.

Now Clary Sage does induce a state of euphoria, which is why you must not drink after using this oil as it potentiates the effects. Annie however did not drink, it just had this extreme effect on her and I had to make sure the Clary Sage was kept under lock and key when she was in the vicinity.

On my way to the Development class that evening I planned what I would do with the students, they were an eager bunch to learn more and I thought I would push Annie straight into the deep end, I would encourage her to link directly with Spirit and give her first direct message. It was not unusual for me to pick up spirit for when you think about it the Psychic college was like Piccadilly Circus, there was always someone’s loved one or a guide around, but the spirit I was picking up was that of a young child. I could clearly see him in my mind’s eye, he had fairish curls and big brown eyes, and he was the spirit of a two year old boy. This little spirit seemed sad and upset and was clinging to me. I tried my best to communicate with this little boy, he was obviously trying to tell me something but I couldn’t work it out.

Annie arrived as I was preparing the room for the night’s class.

“Hello Annie, glad you could make it, you’re early,” I greeted Annie with a smile.

“Oh no way would I miss this, I enjoyed last week so much Miss,” Annie answered. “Miss there is a sad energy in here tonight, I think it’s a little boy.”

“I believe it is Annie but I can’t make out what he’s trying to tell me,” I said.

“Awww Miss I think he is connected to John,” Annie said.

“Oh my God Annie!” I explained, “He’s the little boy, the miscarriage Annie.”

“He’s sad because John is sad,” Annie said softly, “And that’s why he is here, to tell you his father John is sad.”

That made me feel sad too, even sadder than I was already and now I knew John was sad.

“What can I do Annie? I miss John but he won’t message me or email.”

I could feel the little spirit child hug me and I sent him love and promised him I would try my best to try to make his daddy happy again.

“Don’t worry Miss, John will contact you,” Annie stated confidently.

“OK Class tonight we are going to do some Platform work,” I announced.

Platform work is where the Medium stands on the Platform, which is a small stage and relays messages from spirit to give evidence of survival i.e. passed information to the audience from spirit that is only something they would know, thus proving spirit and the afterlife exists.

My students had given some messages before and they knew I would help them through it and they also knew something else.

“And you know you can’t cheat either,” I stated. “I tune into Spirit when you do,” I also added smiling.

They collectively answered, smiling, “We know you do and that we can’t fool you!”

* * * * * * *

I was already tuning in and was well aware of the spirit of my grandmother. My grandmother was one of my main guides. Just as we need Mediums on the earth side, we also need spirits in the spirit realms who can go between just like Mediums do on earth. My grandmother was perfect for this role as she had been a platform Medium herself in the Spiritualist Church. She would tell me as a young girl about many of her experiences and one I remember very well, about the day one of my older cousins was born. 

One of my aunts and her husband stayed with my grandmother and my aunt was expecting her first child. It had been a difficult labor and it was obvious when the baby girl was born something was seriously wrong with the baby. She was floppy and unresponsive and the doctor attending the home birth had told my grandmother he did not expect the baby to survive the night. My grandmother took the baby into her room and placed her in a crib and made her comfortable and everyone expected the baby would not survive. My grandmother woke during the early hours of the morning and looked over at the baby in her crib, she was astounded to see the tiny baby surrounded by angels from tiny cherubs to larger angels all looking down upon my tiny cousin. My grandmother was transfixed by this scene and watched for some time and fell into a deep sleep. She was woken a few hours later by a baby crying lustily and obviously a very hungry tiny baby at that. My grandmother overjoyed took the baby through to her mother crying with joy and called the doctor. The baby was found to be perfectly normal and alert, a completely different little soul as to how she had been the day before.

That story still gives me goosebumps every time I recall it and one of many spiritual experiences and stories from my grandmother and my early years.

My grandmother sadly passed over when I was ten years old and when she did I felt part of my soul went too. The night she passed was so traumatic; I always went to her room each evening to kiss her good night. For the first time ever she shooed me away, she shouted at me,

“Go away, I don’t want to see you tonight!”

I was upset, hurt I went to bed, something was not right, I loved my grandmother and I knew she loved me. Not once had she raised her voice to me, she was the only one who really had the time for me. Looking back I guess we had a lot in common and throughout my childhood my mother would often say,

“You are so like my mother!”

Especially if I was not doing what she expected of me.

I was awoken by my father. “Your Gran has died lass,” he stated.

I looked at him in disbelief “When Daddy?” I asked.

“About an hour or so ago, we reckon,” he answered. “Your Mum went in to say good night and found her, she had been sick, the doctor is here just now, stay in your room just now lass,” he added.

I could hear muffled voices through the wall, my Mum was sobbing and I could hear the voice of my Grandmother’s doctor he was talking quietly to my Dad. I heard my Dad explain to my Mum that my Grandmother had had a heart attack. Although she was 84, my Grandmother was so spritely I thought she would live forever. Later on I was to discover she indeed did. I understood too why she had shooed me away that evening too, she knew her death was imminent and wanted to spare me witnessing it.

It was such a surreal night, I had the most awful bereft feeling in the pit of my stomach, I felt churned up and sick, I felt so ill, I thought I was going to die too. I can still remember the smells of the undertaker and the embalming fluid as he worked on my grandmother; she was dressed in a shroud and laid out on her bed. A steady stream of aunts, my mother’s sisters, came and went, as did friends of my grandmother. Upset was replaced by fear. I was overcome by strange feelings I could not explain, much more powerful than I had experienced when I was younger.

I had felt so different as a child I played with children no one else could see, I couldn’t always see them, but I knew they were there. They played along with me and it was fun. I recall my Mum used to shake her head, as I would talk about them. I felt deep inside what she was thinking that I was not like my brother, nor did I appear to be like other children. I didn’t know at the time these were Spirit Children, that hadn’t been explained to me. I was constantly told by my Mum it was my imagination and I seemed to have more of an imagination than others, it was constantly dismissed and not to be talked about.

I didn’t like these feelings, I had these constant sensations like tingling and buzzing in my ears like someone was watching me that whoever it was, was standing behind me. It was a cold feeling I couldn’t understand it and it made me feel afraid.

My grandmother passed over on the 10th December 1967 and it was to be a very sad Christmas. I was heartbroken and missing my grandmother so much, I had no one to tell how I felt, who could I tell? I felt a strong presence, watching me. That presence was my beloved grandmother.        

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ISBN-10: 1494935740

ISBN-13: 978-1494935740