Translate this site

FB plugin

Twitter /Pinterest follow

Follow Me on Pinterest

Add this master code

Add this


Flag Counter

Total Pageviews







Astrid Brown (Author)
Find all the books, read about the author, and more.


This website is purely dedicated to my books and writing, so you will excerpts here of my books and poetry and where you can purchase them. I write under the genres of the Paranormal/Psychic, Romantic fiction and Poetry. I do hope you enjoy the excerpts here and you'll stop by again.

Astrid Brown is an Author and a Professional Medium/Psychic who writes vastly on her experiences, some of which are in her books and others on her blogs and personal web pages. She is an experienced College Lecturer in Holistic Studies and Reiki Master. She resides in the UK.
my read shelf:
Astrid Brown's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)



“It was a very special moment for John's spirit was awakening and he was opening up, I had touched and resonated with his soul. It was more than just cyber sex, more than making love with someone you loved, it was blending souls as soul mates do and it was an incredible moment for the two of us. We both cried beautiful happy tears”
Astrid Brown, A Psychic Affair: A Romantic Novel
"I don't know what you have done, my mind is not my own
For you have magicked me for my feelings for you have grown
I did not set to fall in love, for you must have cast a spell
For you have bewitched me and all my doubts dispel
What spell have you cast to enchant me like this?
To make me fall in love and ache for your kiss”

“I heard your whispered fantasies so clear
Softly told in my ear
I opened my eyes you weren't there
So real my dream, I was so aware
But we'll meet again so certainly
In our whispered fantasy”
Astrid Brown, Whispered Fantasies



Search This Blog

Blog Archive

Featured post


  THIS IS NOT MY IMAGINATION I heard your name in the breeze Carried and talked about by the trees And every footstep I walked The echoes me...

Saturday 22 December 2007

Thursday 13 December 2007

My Special One

My Special one (for George)
My Special one (for George) magnify
I never did get to hold you in my arms
I think of you still though the years have passed
And when the nights grow long
It serves to remind me when you had to go
I always knew my special on
For special you were
Too pure in spirit to need to come
You had no lessons that needed taught
But you chose me for what you wanted to feel
I was told, warned you could never be
As the days and weeks passed I hoped
I hoped those who decide such things forget
As winter deepens and Christmas comes to pass
That Christmas would have been magical
And then they said its time
I screamed in my head, I could not say
Who would believe I knew
I just had to wait, such a long hour
One hour to say goodbye my little one
And then it happened distraught I screamed
Nothing could be done and yet I knew
Three long days I grabbed on to you
For I couldn't let you go
And then they shook their heads not viable
Not viable, such a cold word for my only one
I sobbed for days and nights inconsolable
And yet I knew which made you all the more precious
So as winter deepens and Christmas comes to pass
I know you will be here with me
Strange I know you have my humour
And the jokes we've played
Who would understand how it feels to know
I have you, yet I do not
You have taught me so much my darling
And I understand why it had to be
So pure you were in spirit there was no need
No need for you to come but you chose me
And I am truly blessed

MPB (c)

Friday 7 December 2007

Festive season in my home town

Festive season in my home town
Festive season in my home town magnify
Every year for a few weeks we have a sort of winter festival in the centre of Edinburgh below the castle where an outdoor ice rink is constructed for the festive season and various other attractions like the German market etc. Its very pretty at night but its so cold. We also have a huge outdoor hogmanay party where we are deluged by tourists so it gets very busy.

Wednesday 5 December 2007

From "A dedication for someone so very special"

From "A dedication for someone so very special"
From magnify
From "A dedication for someone so very special"

A collection of love and erotic poetry Copyright by Maggie Brown

Due to be published in the new year an available in paperback

In A Crowded Place I Will Know You

I daydream of the day when we will meet
The day when I will have that first glance of you
In a crowded place I will know you
As I have known you so many times before
All those lifetimes will be recalled
And precious moments relived
When we are reunited once more

That first tentative look
That first shy smile
Will wipe away all those fears
And time will stand still
As we will recall all those lifetimes
And the passing of the years

And suddenly you will know me
As you once knew and remember that love
That true love we had once more
That electric touch, that shiver, that sudden spark
Will erase all doubts
And all those sweet memories will be recalled
As if just were yesterday as before

Each time before I sleep I pray
Tonight will be that day
When I am reunited my love
When all those years will dissipate and go
God Baby I truly love you so

MPB (c)

Saturday 24 November 2007

And so creates a broken heart

Betrayal oh so intimate
The executer of trust
So slays a love so great
And so creates a festering wound

The blade so sharp of wounding tongue
That twists and turns so deep
That causes the heart to bleed
And so creates a scar upon the soul

The deception of lies stung as they cut
deep into the soul of love's trust
And used and thrown away
And so creates a broken heart

MPB (c)

Hey I've done it guys my first full book




Friday 23 November 2007


Christi walked up the stairs to her first floor apartment, carrying her groceries from her car. She’d been living there for about six months now and it was a very quiet neighbourhood. The rental payments were kind of expensive but she thought.

“What the heck, I deserve it, when I think of all those horrible apartments and crazy neighbourhoods I stayed in before”.

But it was a bit too quiet for her liking. Oh there was a right sweetie in the apartment below her, a darling old dear called Cathie. Cathie was lovely, she took in deliveries for anyone who wasn’t at home and always had a kind word, she had this big golden retriever she called Mitch, he was her best friend and companion and as she climbed the stairs to her door, Mitch lazily opened one eye gave her a knowing look and promptly shut it again and then stretched out his front paws on the door mat of Cathie’s apartment.

No there was hardly anyone around, apart from Cathie, no one was around to speak to, but she had seen the guy from the apartment on the floor above her quite a few times, though not to speak to. In a little dazed daydream, she thought of him, he was hot, in fact hot in giant capital, letters, sizzling hot. Cathie had noticed her peering at him one day and gave a grin and said,

“He’s Mike”. “He doesn’t date anyone regular as far as I know”, she stated. “But he has been round the block a few times”, Cathie laughed.

In fact for an old dear it was a wicked laugh. “Oh girl I was young myself once, he’s hot”

Christie had blushed and in fact, was blushing now just thinking about him. As she reached into her purse to get the keys for her apartment the bunch of bananas toppled and fell on to the landing floor. As she turned around, horror or horror, who at that moment was passing but Mike.

“Oh my God, oh my God”, she screamed inside her head, it would just have to happen when he was passing. As she thought this, she heard his soft but warm accent.

“ I like bananas too, can I help you there honey?” he questioned her sympathetically.

Dying a little death of embarrassment as she tried to scoop up the bananas, the dozen eggs flew from the bags and ended their little flying trip all over Mike, splattering him from his hair all the way down to his flip-flops. Christi didn’t know what to do next, run into the apartment, cry or dig a hole right there and now and climb right in it. She surprised herself by breaking out into a giggle. Mike stood up and a warm smile grew on his lips. Christi noticed his dark warm brown eyes twinkled and sparkled and kind of creased and wrinkled at the corners.

“Hey I best help you clean up this mess, you must be Christie, Cathie told me who you were”, he said tilting his head to one side. “I’ve watched you for some time and wanted to ask you out to dinner, but I guess we’ve got your dinner all over me”, he smiled and his brown eyes met Christi’s green ones.

Mike took the keys from Christi’s hand and his hand kind of lingered with hers for a moment before unlocking the door.

“Please do come inside, it’s my fault let me clean you up”, Cathie stated, trying her best not to laugh out loud. Unfortunately or maybe it was fortunately, the stifled laugh escaped. Mike looked so funny with egg yolk all over his dark brown wavy hair. She watched it drip down his t-shirt and all over his jeans.

“I can’t sponge that off it will just make scrambled egg”, she laughed. “I’ll pop them in the washing machine Mike”. “You run up and get some more clothes”, she said giggling.

“Hmmm I have a slight problem there Christie, I’ve run out”, he stated trying not to laugh at himself. “Cathie said she had organised the repair man to fix my washing machine, but he’s not turned up, like he should have done”, he grinned. “I’ve got shorts on, I’ll just take my jeans off and t-shirt and we can throw them in the machine”

“Ok, yes and I’ll fix you a coffee whilst you’re waiting”, Christi smiled.

Christi couldn’t help but notice Mike’s firm tanned thighs, the kind of thighs that have been honed to ideal man’s perfection, and the tiny soft dark brown hair that grew upwards to slide underneath his shorts. Her eyes lingered on his shorts, “Mmmm not only is he hot he’s got quite a package in there”.

As he pulled the heavily egg stained t-shirt over his head Christi noticed his pecs and his brown nipples, she also noticed her panties were becoming slightly damp and damper still the more her eyes lingered. “Yes he was real hot”, she stared for a moment before throwing Mike a towel. If she was alone now, she knew what she would go and do and it wasn’t making a coffee.


Thursday 22 November 2007

Two Poems~'Of Love' and 'Pleasures token was in the giving'

OF LOVE magnify
Seldom has such an emotion
Tortured souls and led to temptation
And brought such highs of exaltation
Took away such nourishment of life
Or led on a soul and cut like a knife
Through the heart and bled it dry
And yet we can only wonder why
Of passions kept
And life bereft
Who are we to say
Of why it has to be this way

MPB (c)

Pleasures token was in the giving
Pleasures token was in the giving magnify
Betrayal of trust comes in many forms
Like the love from a parent that flounders and fails
Or from family members those whom once trust
From the dearest friends you thought once had
From whom you thought were there in times of sad
When you gave your all and then some more
Yet happy you were to give to those whom you adore
For that is love and all its gifts
Pleasures token was in the giving but now there's rifts
And how it came to pass, to be this way
You know not how you thought they'd always stay
And yet you love so unconditionally
For that is how you chose to live
Having so much love inside to share, to give
For that is me and how I am I cannot change
And for some people that may sound so strange
For me the pleasures of the living
Is opening my heart and purely giving

MPB (c)

Monday 19 November 2007

Tarot its not as creepy as you might think

Tarot an explanation to this Mantic Tool
Click here to learn more and have a Tarot reading by the ONE AND ONLY FAMOUS KASHY (world famous Psychic and bestest Tarot reader in the Universe lol)

HEY KASHY IS THAT ADVERT FOR YOU GOOD OR WHAT LOL? He is so going to kill me when he sees this lol

The cards above featured are the "Mythic Tarot" these are the ones I prefer I resonate with the illustrations, though there are many different decks available, these are my favourites. They are laid out in the 'Celtic Cross' spread. The illustrations are very beautiful don't you think and are based on Greek Mythology. What I like about this deck is every card including the minor arcana, which are equivalent to the numbered cards in a pack of ordinary playing cards, is beautifully illustrated. The illustrations help me work psychically. Not that I need cards or anything to do a reading with, but rather speeds connection with the person I am reading.

Much has been written about this mantic tool some associate it with the dark side, well let me enlighten you. How many of you use playing cards? whether its to play bridge, poker or whatever. Do you know the origins of these cards come from Tarot. In the Minor Arcana the 'Cups' are associated with 'Hearts', the 'Pentacles' with 'Diamonds', 'Wands' with 'Clubs' and 'Swords' with 'Spades' In fact its quite easy to use ordinary playing cards just as you would with Tarot.

Firstly let me explain what a Mantic tool is, well it is an object or objects a psychic uses to tap into psychic energy to expand a reading and link with the person they are reading's Aura. This can be their palm. a crystal ball, a bowl of sand, runes, cards, candle flames, crystals, you name it its been tried and Sylvester Stallone's mum reads Butts, and no I've never tried it, but if anybody wants me to have a go let me know lol.

So each card in the Minor Arcana Tarot deck is numbered just like ordinary playing cards, there are kings, queens, etc just the same. The difference is within Tarot we have the Major Arcana, these are more powerful cards and depending on where they are placed within a reading they have an important significance depending or where they are placed.

Now if anyone has ever had a tarot reading you may come across two cards which strike fear in those who know little about Tarot one is the 'Death' card the other is the 'Tower', neither of those are to be feared, with the Death card, this simply means a break with what was once familiar, a total change of surroundings and important change or re-birth. With the Tower again the illustration shows a tower falling down and depending on the clients circumstances, it can mean whole different lifestyles collapsing and something new to follow. it doesnt necessarily mean the negative.

Other things to be remembered about Tarot cards can either be the right way up or reversed (upside down), this can water down teh meaning or pose a more negative situation depending on the other cards. Readings can be given using just the Major Arcana alone or the full deck. I prefer to use the full deck. There are many ways in which to do readings the traditional one depicted above shows the Celtic Cross Spread, this is often used in general readings. But when you really get into it you find you make your own spreads whatever works for you.

I can only speak for myself and not for other readers and the Tarot cards do all have traditional meanings, many books have been written about Tarot and for the beginner that is sometimes helpful, but for the very psychic I would urge you to throw away the book that comes with the deck and be guided what your intuition tells you. The traditional meaning of the cards is merely a guide only, they are designed to be used as a mantic tool

Thursday 15 November 2007

Just know how much (a poem)

Just know how much

If I could take you in my arms
If I could only hold you
If I could gaze into your eyes
Perhaps then you'd realise
Just how much I care

If I could touch your cheek softly
If I could only stroke your hair
If I could your lips only kiss
Perhaps then you'd know its you I miss
Just how much I adore you

If I could lie beside you
If I could be so entwined
If I had just one night to stay
Perhaps you'd have never have gone away
Just know how much I still love you

MPB (c)

Wednesday 14 November 2007

Aromatherapy a guide

I thought I would post an article on one of the therapies I have taught magnify
Aromatherapy is a vast subject but one that is particuarly valuable in the treatment of stressful lifestyles we lead today
This article is for interest as a guide only and it is advised that anyone contemplating treatment should consult an insured and qualified Aromatherapist


It is the systematic use of essential oils in Holistic treatments to improve physical and Emotional well being.
Essential Oils are extracted from plants and possess distinctive therapeutic properties, which can be used to improve health and prevent disease.
Both their physiological and psychological effects combine well to promote positive health.
Essential Oils can be applied in a variety of ways such as in massage, baths and inhalations.
They are readily absorbed into the skin and have gentle physiological effects and Aromatherapy is an especially effective therapy for stress-related disorders and a variety of chronic ailment
Aromatherapy has its roots in ancient civilisations i.e. the Ancient Egyptians and the Romans used plants and herbs and oils extracted from these for religious, medical and cosmetic purposes and in the Ancient Egyptians used Essential Oils for Embalming and Preserving.

Ancient Egyptians

The Egyptians are known to have used plant resins and essences in embalming, Cedar and Myrrh were used for this purpose and jars of Frankincense and Styrax have been found by archaeologists in tombs dating from 3000 BC. The antiseptic and antibacterial qualities of these oils and essences helped prevent cadavers from rotting so that when the ‘Mummies’ were discovered thousands of years later they were perfectly preserved.
Some of the prescriptions and formulae were inscribed onto stone tablets, which is why we know so much about them today.

Ancient Greeks

The Ancient Greeks gained much of their knowledge of plant resins and essences from travelling to the Nile Valley and taking the information home with them. Hippocrates c. 460 BC wrote on the subject and helped others understand the uses of plants and herbs.
The Romans
Oils and essences were an important part of the Roman Culture e.g. they were used at the public baths, in the water and in massage. The public baths were a great meeting place.
Ancient China & India
Both China and India have a long history of using plants and herbs and their extracts for medical purposes. In India Ayurvedic medicine dates from thousands of years ago and is aimed at treating the whole person, physically, mentally and spiritually, as does Oriental medicine.
Europe learnt about the benefits of plants and herbs through the travels of knights and soldiers, especially after the Crusades (from the 11th to the 13th centuries). Gradually through experimentation Europeans begun to use herbs and plants to make their own medicines e.g. Sage, Lavender and Rosemary.
In the Middle Ages, especially at the time of the great Plague, people protected themselves against infection by carrying plants, wearing herbal bouquets and throwing both over the floor. Interestingly enough it was discovered that Apothecaries and Perfumers were thought to be immune from the disease.


The development of chemistry and printing in the 19th century helped herbal and plant medicine in two ways. New chemical processes made it easier to extract oils and the invention of printing meant that lots of books on the subject, called ‘Herbals’ were published.
However science helped both to develop the use of plants and herbs in medicines and to destroy it. It became easier and cheaper to discover some of the elements of plant oils, and their qualities, and attempt to produce synthetic versions of them, so commercial, mass-produced products and remedies using artificial ingredients replaced the natural formulas created for the individual person and problem. Herbal medicine, using ancient and tested traditions was no longer taken seriously and was even considered ‘Quackery’ compared to ‘real scientific medicine’.


A French chemist called Rene Maurice Gattefosse in the 1920’s coined the term ‘Aromatherapy’. He was a Chemist and Perfumer who worked in his family perfumery business.
One day he burnt his hand and plunged it into a vat of Lavender oil to cool it down, as he had no water available, to his surprise he discovered that the Lavender oil helped his burns to heal and prevented scaring.
During the First World War, he used essential oils on soldier’s wounds and discovered they healed much faster, he then went on to research the therapeutic properties of Essential Oils and first coined the phrase Aromatherapie, in a scientific research paper he wrote in t 928.
Several other French scientists, including Or Jean Valnet, continued the research into the effect of Essential Oils on physical burns and wounds as well as psychological disorders. Valnet also used oils on soldier’s wounds, this time during the Second World War because of their antiseptic qualities.
But it was Marguerite Maury, an Austrian biochemist and follower of the work of Valnet that brought Aromatherapy to Britain. She had discovered that when she used Essential Oils in massage the skin absorbed the oils very well. In the t 940s she brought her ideas for massage treatments using Essential Oils to the U.K. and with the help of several people including; Micheline Arcier, Or. W.E. Arnould-Taylor. Eve Taylor and Dr. Jean Valnet; she set up Aromatherapy practices.
Her Students then set up their own practices and the interest in this method of treatment has been growing ever since, although first established as a beauty therapy, Robert Tisserand developed Aromatherapy as a clinical therapy

What are Essential Oils?

Essential oils are aromatic, volatile substances extracted from a single botanical source by distillation or expression. They are found in leaves, the hairs on leaves, in flowers, in tree bark or roots, in fruit pulp and peel. Similar to animal hormones, they are sometimes referred to as the plants’ ‘Life force’.
The cells containing essential oils are generally close to the surface but they can only be seen with the help of a microscope. The essence is either stored in the cell where it is made or, as is the case with citrus fruits, moved to special storage sacs.

Essential Oils are:

* Aromatic, have a distinctive and often fragrant smell
* Volatile, evaporate quickly in the air and to varying degrees depending on the oil
* Very powerful when neat, are usually blended with a carrier oil for massage purposes
* Flammable, must be kept in a cool place away from heat and/or naked flames
* Soluble in oil and alcohol, (in water they will form a suspension)
* Liquid, exceptions include Rose Otto and Benzoin, which are semi-solid Non-greasy, despite their name, the oils are generally light and not oily Expensive, producing the plants and extracting the oil is labour intensive and thus not cheap


Essential Oils come from various parts of the plants. Some plants only produce one oil e.g.
• Basil oil from Basil leaves
• Carrot from Carrot seeds
• Pine from the needles and sometimes the cones of Pine trees

Other plants produce several oils from different parts e.g. each Sweet Orange
tree produces three essential oils
• Petitgrain from the leaves and branches
• Neroli from the blossom
• Sweet Orange from the peel


How do the oils get from the plant to the bottle?

Well the first stage is growing the plants, the essential oil industry is very labour intensive and therefore expensive, this is because the plants must be looked after carefully and sometimes have to be harvested by hand as they can be easily damaged by machinery. After harvesting the plants need to be processed in order to extract the essential oils.
There are seven methods of extraction:
• Steam Distillation
• Expression
• Solvent Extraction
• Carbon dioxide Extraction
• Hydro-diffusion/percolation
• Enfleurage
• Maceration (an old method rarely used today)

Steam Distillation

This is the most common and economical method of extraction.

1. Plant material is placed in the first part of a still, it is then mixed with water, which is then heated to produce steam, or steam under pressure is passed through the plant material. The heat and steam cause the essential oil in the plant material to break down and evaporate into the steam.
2. The mix of steam and oil vapour passes into a cooled pipe and condenses and collected into another vessel. Because the essential oil and the water from the condensation are of different densities this makes them easily to separate (the essential oil floats on the surface of the condensed water.)
3. There are five stages to distillation:
4. Plant preparation. Flowers and leaves and any non-woody parts can be put in the still as they are but if from a wood or seed then the raw material needs to be prepared i.e. grated or crushed to break the plant’s oil cells to release the essential oil
5. Heat. In steam distillation the raw material is placed on a grid over water, which is then heated, and steam passed through the plant. In direct distillation the raw material is placed in water, which is then brought to boiling point.
6. Evaporation. The heat makes the oil cells release their essence and the oil evaporates into the steam.
7. Condensation. The steam and the vapour it contains collect in a pipe and are transported to a condenser (a coiled pipe which is immersed in a tank of cold water). As soon as the hot steam and vapour come into contact with the cold pipe they condense.
8. Collection. The steam condenses and becomes very lightly scented water (known as Hydrolats) whereas the plant’s oil because of the different density floats to the top of the liquefied steam or sinks to the bottom (depending on the oil). The essential oil can now be collected


The oils of citrus fruits are contained in tiny sacs in the peel. These oils are extracted by the application of pressure. The fruits pulp and pith are removed and the peel is squeezed to release its oil. This used to be done by hand, but now due to the enormous demand it is now down by machinery.

Solvent Extraction

1. Solvent extraction is the method used when the aromatic essence is difficult to obtain by distillation e.g. the resinoids, or the process of distillation might damage the delicate fragrance of the plant e.g. Rose and Jasmine. There are three types:
Resinoid e.g. Benzoin, Myrrh. When the bark of a tree or bush is cut it seems to bleed, a liquid escapes from the cut, which solidifies when it comes into contact with the air, this is known as resin. There are three stages for extracting a resinoid:

Preparation the raw material is chopped and cut and then placed on a rack in a clean vessel and covered with solvents such as Hydrocarbons.
Heat the mixture is gently heated and the oils contained in the woody plant material dissolve in the solvent.
Filtration the solvent is evaporated off and the solid residue is called a resinoid.

2. Concrete. When a plant’s essential oil is damaged by hot water or steam used in distillation e.g. Jasmine flowers; solvent extraction is used instead to obtain a solid substance known as a concrete i.e. a mixture of natural waxes and a plant’s aromatic essence. They are highly concentrated and more ‘stable’ than pure essential oils. Similar to resin extraction, this process uses Hydrocarbon solvents and has three stages.

Preparation, the raw material is put on racks in clean sealed vessels and covered with solvent
Heat, the mixture is gently heated and the solvent dissolves the essences contained in the plant material
Filtration, the liquid that remains is filtered to remove the solvent. The semi-solid paste that remains is the concrete.

3. Absolutes. After extraction concretes are usually treated further to obtain what is known as an absolute. Absolutes are obtained by mixing a concrete (or pomade from enfleurage) with alcohol. The aromatic plant essence transfers from the solid waxy substance to the alcohol and the wax which is not soluble in alcohol is left as residue, this process has two stages.

Mixing, the concrete is mixed with alcohol and then chilled. The plant essence in the concrete dissolves in the alcohol and a waxy residue remains.
Filtration, the solution is filtered to separate the waxy residue from the liquid. Then the alcohol is evaporated off, leaving the absolute, the plant’s essence.

An Absolute, what is it?
This is a liquid that is much thicker and more concentrated than an essential oil. Some are solids or semi-solids e.g. Rose Absolute. They are generally used in small amounts not only because they are so highly concentrated but also because they may still contain a residue of the extraction solvent and this can cause allergic reactions.
Carbon dioxide extraction
This is a new process that dates from the 1980s and it is used mostly for oils destined for the food industry because the end product is unstable and not useful for aromatherapy, it is similar to solvent extraction. The process is quite complicated and therefore expensive.

This is an old extraction process that produces a waxy substance, similar to a concrete, known as a pomade. It is very labour intensive and rarely used except when the highest quality oil is required. It only works with flowers, which carry on producing essential oils after they have been harvested. The process involves four stages:

1. Extraction, flowers and petals are placed on trays, which have been coated with animal fat. They are then left for several days and the fat absorbs the plant essence. Faded Petals are replaced with fresh ones until the fat is completely saturated with the essence.
2. Collection, the fat is removed from the trays and any remaining petals taken out. The aromatic fat is known as a ‘Pomade’.
3. Separation, the pomade is mixed in alcohol and agitated constantly for a day so that the essential oil can separate from the fat. The fat is removed.
4. Evaporation, the alcohol is evaporated off from the mixture leaving the enfleurage absolute.

Like other absolutes those from enfleurage are highly concentrated and are either thick liquids or solids
Rarely used today, maceration is similar to enfleurage because fat is used to extract the essences from the flowers. However it is only used for flowers, which stop producing oils once harvested. It involves four stages.

1. Flowers and petals are mixed with hot fat absorbs the plants essence.
2. The first batch or flowers is filtered off and the whole process is repeated until the fat is saturated with aromatic essence.
3. Petals and flowers are filtered from the final batch and the rat is left to cool.
4. The aromatic fat is known as a pomade and is treated with alcohol, as before to produce an absolute


Percolation uses boiling water in a similar way to distillation but the water passes down through the plant material instead of up. When cooled the oil either floats or sinks, depending on the density and is easily separated. Percolation’s main advantage is that it is faster than distillation, which results in less damage to the oil because the essence is heated for a shorter period of time.


How should oils be stored?
Essential oils are delicate and expensive; it is therefore wise to look after them. They should be stored:

* Away from extremes of temperature, heat will evaporate them and cold can affect their composition
* In dark, amber/blue glass bottles, essential oils are sensitive to ultraviolet light, they should not be stored, or bought in plastic because it affects the molecular structure of the oil
* In tightly sealed bottles, to protect them from evaporating in the air and to stop contact with the air from changing their composition
* Out of the reach of children.

Are Essential Oils Safe?
Used correctly essential oils are very safe, mainly because they are used in such tiny amounts. When used in the wrong dilutions and in the wrong conditions they can produce adverse effects. Certain oils should never be used, under any circumstances and some should not be used for specific conditions.
N.B. Essential oils are very strong and should not be swallowed. If oil gets into the eye rinse it immediately with lots of water. If necessary seek medical advice.
When should oils not be used?
The effects of certain oils can be positive for some conditions and not for others. Problems can be avoided in three ways:

Consulting with clients to find out as much about their medical history and any contra-indications

Knowing the properties and effects of all oils used
Using the oils in their correct and safe dilutions.

Specific Conditions/Pregnancy
Avoid oils, which have the following properties:
Emmenagoguic (stimulate uterus)
Oestrogen stimulating
Hyper-tensors (raise BP)
Induce Epileptiform fits (capable of inducing seizures)
Phototoxic (reacts with UV light)

Potential Drug inter-actions

Nutmeg potentates Pethidine

Geranium has anticoagulant effects therefore avoid with anti-coagulant drugs such as Warfarin

Cinnamon interacts with paracetamol & anti-coagulants

N.B. Essential oils should never be used in the first three months of pregnancy. For the rest of the term, Mandarin is the only oil, which may be used. N.B. & ONLY USE THAT IF AN EXPERIENCED, QUALIFIED & INSURED AROMATHERAPIST

Never use Sweet Fennel or Rosemary, Hyssop and Sage
Avoid Hyssop, Rosemary, Sage & Thyme
Most oils are safe but Angelica should be avoided at all times and permission sought from their G. P.
Homeopathy is not compatible with aromatherapy as homeopathic medicines are extremely fragile, massage may still be given without the addition of essential oils.
General Skin Irritants
The following oils can irritate the skin so are not recommended for those with sensitive skin or anyone prone to skin allergies. It is also useful to remember that solvent-extracted oils will contain traces of the solvent used and may cause irritations.

Basil Lemon Peppermint
Black pepper Lemongrass Thyme
Clove Melissa Tea-tree
Ginger Orange

Certain oils make the skin more sensitive to Ultraviolet Light and should be avoided before exposure to sunlight or before using a sunbed:

Bergamot Lemon Patchouli
Grapefruit Mandarin Sweet-Orange

For anyone who is allergic or suspects an allergy to a particular oil, a skin test is recommended. Rub one drop of diluted oil into the crook of the arm or behind the ear and leave for 24 hours. If there is no reaction, the oil is probably safe to use once diluted as necessary.

The following is a list of toxic Oils. They should never be used, under any circumstances.
Aniseed Horseradish Savory
Arnica Hyssop Southernwood
Bitter-Almond Mustard Tansy
Bitter-Fennel Origanum Thuja
Camphor Pennyroyal Wintergreen
Cassia Rue Wormseed
Cinnamon-Bark Sage Wormwood
Dwarf-Pine Sassafras
Elecampane Savin

What are the specific effects of Aromatherapy?
Using Essential Oils affects the Human Body

Pharmacologically, essential oils are chemical and so are humans. Once essential oils have been absorbed into the body, either through the skin or inhalation, the chemicals in the oils enter the blood and other body fluids and interact with the chemistry of our bodies e.g. hormones, enzymes and neurotransmitters are all chemicals and the presence of another chemical (the essential oil) can affect the way they work.

Physiologically: physiology is the way our body works. Essential oils can affect this by changing the chemical messages and impulses sent around the body and thus changing the way the systems of the human body function e.g. if an oil has relaxing and de-stressing properties, it may help to relieve the symptoms of stress displayed by our bodies e.g. slowing heart rate and breathing rate or encouraging tense muscles to relax.

Psychologically: the way essential oils affect our mind is more difficult to describe, mainly because everyone’s mind id different. However, our sense of smell is closely linked to our memory so that particular smells can cause particular responses: e.g. if you dislike the smell of Roses, Rose oil is unlikely to relax you; if Jasmine reminds you of a good holiday then its smell will bring back happy memories and provoke a positive response.

General effects of Aromatherapy

There are certain effects from using essential oils which result from most treatments, especially since relaxing and/or hands-on application methods like massage and baths are very common in aromatherapy. General effects include:

Reduction in Stress & Tension
Feeling of Well-being, Balance and Calm
Antibacterial effects of oil help the body to heal and support the immune system.

How do Essential Oils Penetrate the Body?
There are two ways that oil can safely penetrate the body:
1. Smell/Inhalation
2. Absorption via the skin

Ingestion, i.e. swallowing them is not safe.
Smelling & Inhaling Essential Oils The Nose & Olfactory Tract

Smell is the fastest way for Essential Oils to penetrate the body. The molecules travel up the nose and there are two results: they send a message to the brain and nerves which respond to the new smell and they pass into the blood stream via the lungs and the respiratory system. In order to understand how this works, it helps to understand the structure of the Olfactory Tract.
Most of the nose is concerned with breathing: inhaling air into the body and exhaling it out, however it is the organ of smell and thus very important in a therapy based on the power of aromas!
At the top of the nose there are two areas of pigmented tissue known as Olfactory Membranes. They contain the olfactory, or smell-sensing cells, which have fine hair-like protrusions called cilia. The olfactory cells connect to nerves in an area known as the Olfactory Plexus. Once triggered, these nerves send messages along the olfactory Nerves to the Brain, particularly the Limbic System.
This is the area of the brain that deals with Memory, Emotions, Our Basic Instincts and Mechanical Functions.
When essential oil molecules pass over the olfactory cells, it is thought that these cells trigger receptor areas, which send an impulse via the olfactory plexus and nerves to the brain. Here the information is processed and interpretated (with either positive or negative associations).
Depending on the interpretation, the brain sends messages to other parts of the body to elicit a response e.g. Grimace! The brain may also react to different chemicals in an essential oil and produce particular effects e.g. a relaxing or sedative substance may cause the brain to send out a message of relaxation either to the whole body or a particular part.

How do Oils Penetrate the Skin?

Essential oils are absorbed through the skin. In order to understand this, it helps to understand the skin’s structure.

Being the largest human organ it is water resistant, but extremely minute substances, such as the molecules of an essential oil, can enter the tiny pores of the Epidermis, as well as penetrating through the hair follicles and the sweat glands. From here they enter the blood capillaries in the dermis. Once the oil reaches the blood and the circulation it is transported around the whole body.

Essential Oils are almost always used in a blend. They are blended with Carrier oils for use in massage and in some cases, baths.
The correct blend is very important because essential oils are potentially toxic if used undiluted. They are also highly concentrated and will therefore not go very far in a massage on their own!

What is a Carrier Oil?
Carrier oils are known as fixed oils because unlike essential oils, they do not evaporate when heated. They are extracted from plants, flowers, nuts and seeds and those generally used in aromatherapy do not have a strong smell as it might interfere with that of the essential oil.
Some carrier oils contain fat-soluble vitamins e.g. A, D, E and K, minerals and proteins in differing amounts, so have healthy benefits of their own.
Carrier Oils Used in Aromatherapy are:
• Of vegetable, nut or seed origin
• Refined preferably cold-pressed
• Stable, not volatile
• Used neat
• Non sticky
• Lubricants for aromatherapist’s hands thus giving a smooth massage.

There are several suitable carrier oils, which can be used alone or in a blend with other carriers. Some are lighter than others and often the thicker denser oils, which are more expensive and may be used, mixed with a lighter oil to make them go further.
Lighter oils are better for a full body massage because they allow smoother movements whereas the thicker oils are more useful for massage on a small area.
Recommended carrier oils are:

Grapeseed Evening Primrose Calendula
Sweet-Almond Avocado Macadamia
Wheatgerm Jojoba Peach-Kernel

What are the correct dilutions?
Dilutions depend on two factors i.e. the treatment and the scale of the treatment. The following are just guidelines and the more experienced Aromatherapist will adapt them according to circumstances.
Treat dilutions and blends like a medical treatment i.e. a prescription must provide the right drug and dosage for the condition and patient. The same care should be used to create blends i.e. use the right oils for the problem in the appropriate amounts. For a treatment to work, just like a prescription, the quantities and qualities of both essential oil and carrier oil must remain constant.

How much Essential Oil should be mixed with Carrier Oil?
Usually from 1 % to 2%, the maximum dilution should be 2.5% of Essential Oil.

How do I work out & measure these percentage?

1 % equals one-drop essential oil to 100 drops carrier and 2% blend equals two drops essential oil to 100 drops carrier.

Does that mean I have to count out 1OO drops of carrier oil? – No, 100 drops of oil is equivalent to 5mls or one teaspoon, therefore 1 % dilution would be one drop of essential oil per 5mls and 2% would be two drops per 5mls.
Are there any instances when these dilutions are wrong or need changing?
Use a maximum 1 % dilution when treating:
• Clients with sensitive skin
• The elderly
• Children
• The weak/convalescent

How much oil is needed for different treatments?
Full body massages require about 20-25mls carrier oil i.e. 8 drops essential oil per 20mls.
For face massage only about 5mls of carrier is required i.e. 1-2 drops of essential oil per 5mls.
Absolutes may contain traces of solvents so a weaker solution i.e. 1 % blend should be used.
Baths essential oils float or sink so drops should not be added directly to the bath water but should be mixed with a small quantity of an emulsifier such as a fragrance-free shampoo, bath gel, liquid soap or even full cream milk before adding to the bath. Those with sensitive skin should use a lower concentration and take care with those oils known to cause skin irritations.
Burners use two drops of the chosen oil in water
Compresses soak the cloth in 100mls of water and add two drops of the chosen oil.
Steam inhalations use one drop of essential oil to a bowl of hot water, two for a stronger effect.
N.B. When using essential oils, always be very careful if in doubt, don’t.
How Long do Blends Last?
The average shelf life of a blend lasts approximately 3 months however by adding 10% Wheatgerm oil this can be extended to approx. 6 months.
Can oils be used undiluted?
Only in specific circumstances i.e. Lavender or Tea Tree, though some may be sensitive to the latter.
Oils that blend well
Oils that are in the same botanical family to which they belong blend well i.e. the citrus e.g. Grapefruit & Lemon etc.

Botanical Families & Examples
Woody Cedarwood & Pine
Herbaceous Marjoram & Clary Sage
Citrus Bergamot & Lemon
Floral Geranium & Rose
Resinous Galbanum & Frankincense
Spicy Ginger and Black Pepper

A general guide to blending can be gained by looking at the ‘Note’ of the individual oil. The Note is a measure of the volatility of the oil, of which there are three main categories.

Top Notes

• Fresh & light in aroma
• The fastest acting
• The quickest to evaporate
• The most stimulating & uplifting to both mind and body

Middle Notes

* Moderately volatile
* Primarily affect the functions of the body systems e.g. the digestive system etc.
* Affect the general metabolism

Base Notes

* Are rich & Heavy
* Slower to evaporate and therefore mixed with top notes, help to ‘hold back’ the volatility of that oilThe most sedating & relaxing

A Frenchman named ‘Piesse’ developed the categorisation of oil notes during the 19th century. He classified aromas according to their harmony with other oils and based their grade on the musical scale; each aroma forming perfectly balanced chords or harmonics when combined with other oils.
The simplest ratio being 3:2:1 i.e. Three drops top note, two drops middle and one drop base.
Contra-indications for aromatherapy are the same for any massage with the proviso that certain oils will not be suitable depending on the client’s condition.

I hope this will give you a taste and interest into the facinating subject and therapy known as 'Aromatherapy'. I haven't gone into explaining the all the complexities of the essential oils and would urge you to read widely on the subject as it is so vast.

This article is designed as a guide only and any self treatment is at your own risk and if contemplating treatment please consult a qualified and insured Aromatherapist

All material is copyright

Free Psychic Readings with a difference lol

Free Psychic Readings
Insulting Isolde
Isolde Speaks: If you want the hard truth together with a kick in your derriere, stay here and get my insulting but true advice. If you want a lovey dovey reading, please consult my namby-pamby sister, Zelda. She does try hard and will never insult you. The TRUTH is that my insults help to build your character.

Disclaimer:This is ENTERTAINMENT. Your free advice is randomly chosen (according to reputable scientists).

Isolde knows all and sees all. Therefore, you do NOT have to type your question below, though she prefers it. For best psychic results, ask reading questions that can be answered with "yes" or "no."

Type Your Question Please

Click here for your free psychic reading
plus a free spicy offensive insult.
Who could ask for anything more?

Monday 22 October 2007

Why couldn't you have said?

Why couldn't you just have been honest
And told me just the truth
I said, I asked so many times
So many times I begged
Did you think that it was kinder to
To leave it and not say
And hope and wished it would go away
We made a pact remember
We'd say outright when it was time
And when I asked all you'd say its fine
But you didnt keep to the bargain
You lied and lied again
What were you so fearful off
Why couldnt you have said
Instead I find out second hand
And I'd just been led
A merry dance and dangled
It hurts, my heart hurts
it hurts because you owed me that
That one little thing
To simply just be honest
And just not hide the truth

MPB (c)

Monday 2 July 2007

Always live each day as your last

'One Sweet Day' Mariah Carey & Boyz II to Men

Mariah Carey 'Without You'

Always live each day as your last, you never know when the ones you love will not be there. Never let the sun go down on an argument, for you never know if you'll ever be able to say the hardest word of all "Sorry".

Always tell the ones you love, that you love them. Always say 'I love you 'for it might be the last time you do and the last thing they will remember you by.

This is not meant to be morbid, but in times like these, we never know what is around the corner, we never know if this will be our last on this earth. So let your heart speak, let it speak what you feel within, it knows the truth, don't let foolish pride get in the way.

Let your heart touch the souls of the ones you love, cherish each smile, each moment, each and every word and treasure it in your heart. so that when you say goodbye, they go knowing you love them always till the last star in the sky burns its last light.

Friday 29 June 2007

Bittersweet Pain

An ache lies tight fast in my heart
I hate it when we are apart
Longing for your touch
I want you oh so much
Missing you
Needing you
My eyes reflect the pain
Of longing for you again
Pining for you
Desiring you
I want to feel you oh so bad
Without you I feel so sad
Aching for you
Wanting you
I cant describe how much I care
I just know I want you there
Being with you
Loving you
Baby I so love you
And I know you love me too
T'is such a bittersweet type of pain
And I can't wait to see you again

MPB (c)

Wednesday 27 June 2007

A Silver Lining

A Silver Lining

Don't you often wonder how you arrived at where you are in life? You think if only I had done this, or studied that, or perhaps I should have taken that other job instead of that one, may be not married that guy/girl!

I was pondering over these thoughts at breakfast this morning, I especially think about things when I am feeling a bit down and then I was inspired to think latteraly instead of litterly. I think well if I hadn't made that choice where would I be today. Should I have pursued a career in the art world; when I was at school from the age of 5 years all I wanted to do was become an artist and I was single-minded enough to pursue this all the way through my schooling, went to art school, and then suddenly one day I felt this was not what I wanted, I wanted to do nursing instead. Now I never did any sciences at school until my final year when I did a short course in biology to help me understand the human body to enable me to draw it better and now here I was spending all this time concentrating on art and now thats not what I wanted.

So I made the change, I had to learn total new subjects, do science and a bit of maths (WHICH I HATE LOL) I was quite happy the art came in handy for drawing diagrams did a good trade at nursing college drawing diagrams for other nurses. And then some difficult personal problems came about and I left nursing and sort of drifted into Medical Secretarial College, which I excelled at, funnily enough when I started nurse training I did a short course in touch typing to help me type up my lecture notes, so I had a head start and the nursing was useful as I knew and could spell all the terminology, and when I was working at the Hospital I could liase easily with the Medical staff and could organise all the clinics easily and quicker than any other medical secretary as I could work unaided and had good rapport with medical staff and patients alike.

My whole life went along this way making this choice because circumstances at the time deemed it necessary almost as if an inner voice was leading me along a pathway. How I got into complementary medicine was a direct result of orthodox medicine failing to help with an allergy I had, I began to experiment on myself firstly with homoeopathy and graduated to family and friends with good results and I branched out to herbal and essential oils, all of this long before it was fashionable, and yes I was ridiculed and laughed at, at the time. Again my previous life choices helped me with this route.

I spent several years, actually many lol studying courses, writing dissertations on a vast array of complementary therapies, until I'd covered about every eventuality and thought how can I best put these into practise to help others. So to get my foot in the door, as at this time complementary therapies were not terribly recognised within the medical profession, I decided to train as a beauty therapist, to introduce my therapies into treatments, which I did, and my artistic background helped with the make up. Finally I had this need to pass on my knowledge to others I wanted people out there to know just what complementary therapies could do. I volunteered working at my Local Hospital, which was also a teaching hospital, working in the field of pallative care, this was easy for me due to my nursing background. The consultants at the hospital were enlightened to the effects of complementary medicine and saw the advantages. You'll note I say complementary and not alternative, as these therapies should be complementary to orthodox and not as an alternative.

I further went on to teach both beauty therapy and a vast array of assorted complementary therapies intoducing them for the first time at the only International Examination Therapy College in Scotland, and I was so proud to see my therapists go to work all over the world knowing I passed on a little bit of what I myself have learned.

What I am trying to say here in a very long-winded way is 'isn't it amazing where we end up' how if we hadn't done this course or made this choice, our lives would be so different. Think of all the positives we have, for example if we hadn't married that guy, would we have the beautiful children we have now, would we have met the wonderful guy we have now, had it not been we were unhappy with our ex's.

It's easy to overlook the 'Silver lining' in every grey rain cloud, but there is one there and if we ponder for a while you will see it. Everything we do is for a reason, it takes us on our journey of life's lessons and as a result we grow the wiser, the more knowlegedable and stronger as a direct result and this in turn enables us to give and show empathy and to help others going through similar circumstances.

I hope this blog in turn will at least help someone to see that 'Silver Lining"

MPB (c)

Friday 15 June 2007

Sweet as sweet as lovers do

Sweet as sweet as lovers do

Sweet are the feelings you give me
As sweet as the longings I want you
Sweet the arms that enfold around me
As sweet as the kisses that you bestow upon me
Sweet the passion with that you fill me
As sweet as the love you make me
Sweet as sweet as lovers do

MPB (c)

Tuesday 12 June 2007

Till the last moonlit shadow ceases to exist

Till the last moonlit shadow ceases to exist

Staring in the soft shadows, I glanced over
At your sleeping form, softly, breathing, watching
In awe at the quiet physique, Illuminated
From the languid, lunar glow as it
Traced the outline of your firm body
Just as I had done
Just a few hours ago
With my tongue
In the fragrant breeze
Dancing, rejoicing with my joy
I quietly smiled a soft knowing smile
As many women do
When their hearts are touched, ignited, fuel-ed
By a love
So wondrously wanton
So full so capriciously unabandoned
when their most dearest, most sweetest dream
Is fulfilled,
Your heart I will treasure and care for
Like some precious jewel
Till the last moonlit shadow
Ceases to exist

MPB (c)

Monday 4 June 2007

Poignant and yet Unconditional

Sometimes it's hard to be a woman
Giving all your love to just one man
You'll have bad times, and he'll have good times
Doin' things that you don't understand
But if you love him, you'll forgive him
Even though he's hard to understand
And if you love him, oh be proud of him
'Cause after all he's just a man.
Stand by your man, give him two arms to cling to
And something warm to come to
When nights are cold and lonely.
Stand by your man, and show the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can.
Stand by your man.
Stand by your man, and show the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can.
Stand by your man.

Carrie Underwood "Stand by Your man"

Stand by your man

Thursday 17 May 2007

I really don't want to miss a thing unconditional remember this

'Areosmith theme from Armageddon' I love this special bittersweet song it makes me cry and sob so much for it has such deep special meanings I will treasure deep in my heart, till the last star burns out in the Universe, till the end of time and until I have taken my last breath and lived my last life and the Universe and Heaven no longer exist.

In other words the meanings connected with this song run so deep and so true they can never be arradicated from my soul which is crying out for it's other half which it truly needs so badly.

I hope the music and lyrics can express a little bit to the depth of feelings I hold deeply locked away in my heart, those special memories and feelings I treasure like some precious jewel. I made a promise and I will keep it and it is unconditional and will do my utmost to care for the heart & feelings I treasure, but I am not perfect I have flaws and have human failings and I mess up sometimes being unable to express eloquently what I mean to say and it comes out all wrong with a different meaning that is not intended. I am so sorry to everyone I get it wrong sometimes it wasn,t meant to be like this please beleive me when I say this I just cant get it right and cant express what I am trying to say for:

"What I want to say cannot be conveyed in words but only through the silence and gazing and depth of my eyes and through the exchange of unconditional loving energy from my touch "saya chinta mu"

Monday 30 April 2007

In Times of........

In Times Of

by Kit McCallum

My soul drifts aimlessly in times of hopelessness.
It searches tirelessly for meaning and truth ...
Yet finds no direction.

My heart bleeds quietly in times of loneliness.
It yearns to find warmth and happiness ...
Yet it somehow eludes me.

My eyes seek out visions in times of want.
They gaze endlessly through the blackness that envelops them ...
Yet they cannot see the light.

My ears listen earnestly in times of silence.
They search for familiar sounds to comfort and console ...
Yet they cannot penetrate the darkness that surrounds me.

My arms reach out frantically in times of despair.
They seek strength and compassion to enfold me ...
Yet they find nothing substantial to enwrap.

My mind cries out desperately in times of solitude.
It poses intense questions that demand answers ...
Yet there are none to be found.


My hand reaches out earnestly in these times of confusion.
It dials the number of a familiar and calming voice ...
And gratefully, my lifeline to sanity ... remains intact.

Sunday 29 April 2007

The Saga of My Tears

Saga Of My Tears
© By Derrick T. Pike

I sit all alone in this room
As memories unfold

Tears streaming down my face again
This pain never grows old

Some say it's a state of mind
But it's my heart that really hurts

I only aim to please you all
But what's a smile really worth?

This is the story of my life
The saga of my tears

A story told a thousand times
Remade over the years

If you listen up closely
Maybe you might hear

The beating of my heart
And the saga of my tears

They say that life's a trip
I hit the ground face first

Lost everything I ever wanted
But it could have been worse

Or that's what they tell me
Do they sit alone in the dark?

Or stare into broken mirrors
Thinking it's the pieces of their heart

This is the story of my life
The saga of my tears

A story told a thousand times
Remade over the years

If you listen up closely
Maybe you might hear

The beating of my heart
And the saga of my tears

This is the saga of my tears
A saga that never ends

This a the saga of my tears
That fall from cheeks til the end

Its Beautiful isn't it?

I am planning on going back here this year on the coast of the Adriatic, sitting right by that Olive tree in the sunset listening to the waves lap against the shore.

Why are people not what they seem?

This puzzles me greatly, there is so much deception and scams in this world and I cant understand why people just cant be honest. Is there any point in it for you only seek to harm yourselves. Living a lie only hurts yourself in the end and it hurts lots of people and I cant understand why there is this striving to be better than the next person. Is it greed that is behind it? or is it sloth or one of the other deadly sins? Who knows? These people would find eventually by just being yourself and letting your own character show, you would find people of like-minds would flock to you for the common good and for the development and blossoming of your own souls.

We are all here incarnated to help one another develop to learn what life is all about to learn and grow into better more rounded personalities, to accept none of us are perfect, but at the same time, be the best we can be, is that so bad?

I would appreciate others views on this subject

Saturday 28 April 2007

My New Look Blogger Blog

Welcome to my new look Blogger blog, I had deleted this but Ive been working on it and finally getting to grip with html and getting better at it. Hopefully it will amuse and entertain you and you'll find something interesting here. Luca Diriso is on here because I happen to love this and reminds me of all the times I have spent in Italy.

Barbie & Ken's letters to Santa


Barbie's letter to Santa...

Dear Santa,
Listen you fat little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to you Santa, but IT'S DEFINITELY PAY BACK TIME!

There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I'm gonna call for a nationwide melt down (and trust me, you won't wanna be around to smell it).

So, here's my holiday wish list for 2000. . .

1. A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker. How much smaller are these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels like to have nylon and Velcro up your butt?

2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white. What bonehead at Mattel decided to cheap out and MOLD imitation underwear to my skin?!? It looks like cellulite!

3. A REAL man ... maybe GI JOE. Hell, I'd take Tickle-Me-Elmo over that wimped-out excuse for a boy toy Ken. And what's with that earring anyway? If I'm gonna have to suffer with him, at least make him (and me) anatomically correct.

4. Arms that actually bend so I can push the aforementioned Ken-wimp away once he is anatomically correct.

5. Breast reduction surgery. I don't care whose arm you have to twist, just get it done.

6. A jog-bra. To wear until I get the surgery.

7. A new career. Pet doctor and school teacher just don't cut it. How about a systems analyst? Or better yet, a public relations senior account exec!

8. A new, more 90's persona. Maybe "PMS Barbie", complete with a miniature container of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and a bag of chips; "Animal Rights Barbie", with my very own paint gun, fitted with a fake fur coat, bottle of spray on blood and handcuffs; or "Stop Smoking Barbie," sporting a Nicotrol patch and equipped with several packs of gum.

9. No more McDonald's endorsements. The grease is wrecking my vinyl.

10. Mattel stock options. It's been 37 years-I think I deserve it.

Okay Santa, that's it. Considering my valuable contribution to society, I don't think these requests are out of line. If you disagree, then you can find yourself a new bitch for next Christmas. It's that simple.

Yours Truly,

Ken's letter to Santa...

Dear Santa,
I understand that one of my colleagues has petitioned you for changes in her contract, specifically asking for anatomical and career changes. In addition, it is my understanding that disparaging remarks were made about me, my ability to please, and some of my fashion choices. I would like to take this opportunity to inform you of some of issues concerning Ms. Barbie, and some of my own needs and desires.

First of all, I along with several other colleagues feel Barbie DOES NOT deserve preferential treatment - the bitch has everything.

I, along with Joe, Jem, Raggedy Ann & Andy, DO NOT have a dream house, corvette, evening gowns, and in some cases the ability to change our hair style. I personally have only 3 outfits which I am forced to mix and match at great length. My decision to accessorize my outfits with an earring was my decision and reflects my lifestyle choice.

I too would like a change in my career. Have you ever considered "Decorator Ken", "Beauty Salon Ken", or "Out Of Work Actor Ken"? In addition, there are several other avenues which could be considered such as: "S&M Ken", "Green Lantern Ken", "Circuit Ken", "Bear Ken", "Master Ken". These would more accurately reflect my desires and perhaps open up new markets.

And as for Barbie needing bendable arms so she can "push me away," I need bendable knees so I can kick the bitch to the curb. Bendable knees would also be helpful for me in other situations - we've talked about this issue before.

In closing, I would like to point out that any further concessions to the blond bimbo from hell will result in action be taken by myself and others. And Barbie can forget about having Joe - he's mine, at least that's what he said last night.



If I could have just one more day,
To spend my time with you.
I'd love to sit and talk awhile,
Instead of feeling blue.

It's just so hard when we're apart,
The days just seem so long.
For my longing and your touch,
It leaps off the page of a song.

If I could turn up the hands of time,
I'd be standing in front of you.
I'd reach out to feel your touch,
I know you'd love that too.

If you see me in your dreams,
You know that I am there.
To show you all my love from me,
And show how much I care.

So if you're sitting there wondering,
Of what it is I do.
I'm wrapping my love up in a box,
And sending it off to you.

Friday 30 March 2007

Monkey on Vacation lol

Monkey on vacation to New York

I just love this little wooly person who is presently advertising PG Tips Tea lol!

Some Reviews


Great read, it's not the usual romantic novel it's a bit of a cross genre being informative and paranormal but it had me hooked, I would love it if the author wrote a sequel as I would love to know how the characters relationship goes I do hope the author does Sarah65 __________________________ Amazing read and was engrossed until I finished reading, this book is more than a novel it helps understand the psychic's world and has such depth of feelings Stella Matthews An interesting read different but I really enjoyed this book I liked the factual glossary at the end, it helped make sense of the paranormal happenings throughout S Williams
5.0 out of 5 stars What an Amazing Read :-), January 15, 2014 By Sam - See all my reviews This review is from: A Psychic Affair: A Romantic Novel (Paperback) I found this book totally drew me in and couldn't wait to get to the next page to see what was going to happen! Brilliant book - a must have read :)

Top Customer Reviews on Amazon

Format: Paperback
Thoroughly enjoyed this book. Its thought provoking and humorous. Open your mind to a different way of thinking. Nothing is ever as straightforward as it appears. Looking forward to reading more of Astrid's work.

Format: Paperback
This is an amazing read and you really get into the characters in the book! This author is amazing at capturing the characters so you actually live and breath them, fantastic a must have read xxxx

Format: Kindle Edition
A great read and I must say I was pleasantly surprised so I will be buying again from this author

Kindle Readers